I was losing what remained of my relationship with my son. He was marrying into a whole new family. In fact, the man with the microphone had introduced them as Mr. and Mrs. Martinez! And the seating arrangements !! Grandma was completely separated from her grandchildren whom she never sees. This was the only thing about this grandiose event that I was looking so forward to. Grandma's enjoyment, simply watching her grandchildren.
Though under the fabricated protection of a 'posse' of friends, my self-conscious state was on high alert to begin with when I was pulled aside by a distant family member. She expressed her own consternations, another family member didn't acknowledge her the way she had expected, and why was it that she and her family were placed at a table so disconnected from everyone else ? In a heightened state of vexation, I was, once again swept away. In haste, I was escorted to the dance floor to meet my son. A smile of complete satisfaction on his face.
We were set in position for that 'god forsooken' rite; the one in which mother and son must dance, under the critical eye of many spectators. Each and everyone, of course, would have an opinion. I must behave accordingly.
My son embraced me, "You got what you always wanted, mom," he uttered.
I was catapulted into an utter state of delusion. Did he arrange all of this on purpose?
As Hamlet, had he carefully planned to present me with such fearsome punishment ??? To punish me for all my misgivings, my lack of parenting skills !! For abandoning him when he was a young teen !! My mind flooded with such speculation . . . Such an extravagant affair . . . Jayme's grand celebration of induction into the Martinez family . . . .
Perhaps he detected my perplexity, he made the clarification, "I'm happy, mom.
You always wanted me to be happy! I'm REALLY happy."
See all synonyms for bewilder
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